Feeling at Peace: How to Lose the “Caregiver Guilt”

If you’re feeling negative emotions when caring for an elderly loved one, you are not alone. For many, the demands of caregiving are only deepened by a sense of guilt—and often the worry that we aren’t doing enough, providing enough, or taking care of everything that requires our attention. 

There are many forms of caregiver guilt, depending on the caregiver’s life circumstances. For many, the guilt is a result of our sense of responsibility for things we feel we could’ve changed for the better—even if the events or choices were outside our control.  And when the complicated challenges of caring for an elderly loved one may not go as planned, our guilt makes us shoulder the disappointment and self-blame in how things turned out. 

If you’re feeling caregiver guilt, the following statements may sound familiar: 

  • We feel guilty we don’t spend enough time without loved ones, or that we spend too much time with them at the expense of others.
  • We feel guilty for moving our loved ones into a senior facility or assisted living, or that we’re hurting them and others by keeping them in their own home or moving them into our family’s home. 
  • We feel guilty for own feelings: for resenting the burden of caregiving, for frustration at our parent’s limits, and for being selfish if we do prioritize our own needs.  

Caregiver guilt is almost unavoidable. Our care and desire to make the best choices for our loved ones means that we can hold ourselves to high standards of behavior—and blame ourselves when the stress of caregiving shows on our careers, family life, or mental health. 

But there are steps you can take to mitigate your unwarranted feelings of guilt. Relying on others, taking time for self-care, and focusing on the positive helps you balance your emotions. And a happier, healthier caregiver can provide better care. 

Tip 1: Accept Help

The first step to alleviating guilt is to rid yourself of the expectation that you need to handle everything on your own. Reach out to other family members, or even consider hiring a caretaker to provide care and companionship when you can’t. If those options aren’t available, think about which errands in your personal life can be delegated or hired out. While paying for supermarket delivery or extra cleaning help may seem selfish, the benefits of your ease of mind will go a long way. 

Tip 2: Remove the “Should”

As a caregiver, your to-do list is full of “shoulds” for every minute of the day, but it may be time to renovate that list. Make a chart of “shoulds” and “needs,” and categorize all your tasks honestly. You may find that some of your most difficult or time-consuming tasks are “shoulds”, such as taking Mom for her doctor appointments, that can be delegated or given up to make way for the most important needs without compromising on your caregiving. 

Tip 3: Focus on the Positive 

Guilt has a way of keeping you focused on the things you haven’t done right, but you can keep negative feelings at bay with mindfulness and self-reflection. Keep in mind, your goal is to keep your loved ones safe and provided for—and no one can truly “do it all”. Take the time to reflect on your accomplishments, to give yourself positive reinforcement, and to reassure yourself that the caregiving role is a challenging one for anyone—and your efforts go a long way to keeping your loved one happy and healthy. 

Tip 4: Do For Yourself, Too.

There’s no quicker way to drain your emotional health than denying yourself the habits that keep you happy, healthy, and upbeat. When your schedule is full, it’s tempting to sideline your gym hours, social life, or even just some “me time”. But going for too long without any space for yourself will only leave you angrier, stressed, and unable to stretch yourself further. Put your self-care on your to-do list to keep it a priority, and focus on getting in your personal time—even if that means removing other tasks from the list (takeout is fine for dinner, sometimes!) 

Tip 5: Find Support 

Believe it or not, there are plenty of people in the same boat as you—or ready to offer an understanding ear. Search online for support groups in your area, or ask friends and family if they know a fellow caregiver. Speaking to others lets you share stories, tips, or even just enjoy the company of someone facing the same challenges with positivity and a healthy mindset.

Caregiving can be overwhelming. But when it comes to making the right decisions for your loved one, finding trusted home care shouldn’t be. Learn more about finding compassionate caregivers focused on dignity and quality of life by reaching out to Community Home Health Care at 845.425.6555. We’re always happy to answer any questions and connect you with the right care for your family. 

 

Related Health Tips

Celebrating National Anti-Boredom Month: 9 Steps to Help Remove Boredom in In-Home Care

When we prepare for our retirement and old age, we worry about things like money, future living situation, kids, grand kids, friends etc. What many of us forget to take into account is how boring life age can become. In our older age, kids are busy in their own lives...

Recommended Vaccines for Adults

Vaccines are an important step in protecting adults against serious, sometimes fatal, diseases.  Even if you were vaccinated at a younger age, the vaccine may have worn off, or you may have developed a resistance to the vaccine.As you get older, you may be at risk for...

Safely Celebrating Holidays in Covid Times

One of the most devastating impacts of Covid-19 has been the sense of isolation that it has created. Many people report that they feel starved for physical touch, even a simple hug. This isolation has been especially challenging for older adults who have missed...

Knowing When it’s Time to Ask for Help in Home Care

Whether a person is elderly or disabled, it can be difficult to know when to ask for help. Societally, we are taught that asking for help is a sign of weakness and a cause for embarrassment. Unfortunately, nothing could be further than the truth. If one of your...

Senior-Friendly Activities for Fall

The days are gradually getting shorter, and the luscious lawns of summer give way to autumn’s fallen leaves. There’s always something special about each time of year, so we’ve rounded up 7 of our favorite fall activities that seniors can easily enjoy as well. With...

Caring for People Suffering from Dementia

Dementia is a mental disorder in which a person gradually suffers from loss of mental function as a result of certain brain diseases. Almost 50 million people suffer from dementia from all over the world while health organizations claim that the number will triple by...

How to Make the Most of Your Doctor Appointments

Many people find doctor visits to be a stressful experience. Their blood pressure may skyrocket and they may have a tendency to forget all of the questions that they had before their appointment. This often leads to frustration and the sense that an expensive...

15 Habits of Perpetually Positive and Happy People

Have you ever looked around and wondered why some people are so happy while others seem down, depressed, or sad? It’s easy to envy very happy people or to go so far as thinking that, somehow, that person is better than you are. Fortunately, this is never the...

7 Ways to Improve Caregiver Patient Relationship

The caregiver/patient relationship can often be tenuous and difficult. Home care is a stressful setting that typically involves great sickness or disability and within that, it is easy for tempers to flare and patience to run thin. This is unfortunate, however,...

Winter Safety for Seniors

5 Tips for Helping Older Adults Stay Warm and Healthy.While there is nothing as serene as sitting at the window watching the snow fall, the winter season brings along its host of challenges for all ages, as well. Icy walkways, compromised driving conditions and cold...

0 Comments

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Phone

+1 803-574-3069

Location

717 Encino Pl NE.
Albuquerque, NM 87102

Store Hours

M-F: 8am – 11:30pm
S-S: 9am – 9:30pm

error: Alert: Content is protected !!